Listen. This isn't a normal review. How can it be? It's about a deli with a 15-foot wooden lion.
That's in the entrance. Pinocchio would be scared away. I wouldn't blame him. It's a huge wooden lion.
Ok, back to the review. Are you getting hungry? If you're a human, you probably get hungry a few times a day. Do wooden lions get hungry? Are there wooden wildebeests to be hunted?
Are you Getting Hungry? If you are, you're a lunch restaurant in Manhattan.
Do you have client requests? If you do, you're some sort of businessperson. Wooden lions only get the requests of "DON'T EAT ME" and "hey, let's take a photo next to this guy". Those are two very different populations. Guess which one is the tourist.
Do you have Client Requests? According to the menu, it's a "buffalo" chicken sandwich. You might be able to tell by the scare quotes that I'm not too impressed by this sandwich.
You're right. It's terrible.
Or, at least, it's not good, and it's not buffalo. Not in any sense of the word that you, friends, or I would use. Unless I was being threatened by a fifteen-food wooden lion. Then I'd call it whatever the lion wants.
It's made from deli-sliced buffalo chicken breast. There's visible spice on the edge, but not enough so's you'd actually taste it. There's no kick, and no flavor. No moisture.
For some reason, it overwhelmingly tastes of tomato. Tomato? Yes, tomato. I can handle a bit of tomato, but this is too much. Eating any more risks lycopene poisoning.
The second taste is mayonnaise. This is a confusing sandwich.
Finally, bacon! A non-traditional addition to buffalo chicken, but closer than tomato. Crunchy enough.
Somewhere mixed into this is the taste of pepper. Not hot pepper, but black pepper. Is it from the deli sliced chicken? Maybe the bacon? No idea. I'm not going to try this again and find out.
3/10, but don't get attacked by the giant wooden lion.