Dang sticky-rice sriracha chips

January 2020

My main problem with Dang sticky-rice sriracha chips is the name. If you're going to swear, go all the way.

What's that? It's named Dang because that's the founders' mother's name? And it's not a bowdlerized swear?

Dang Sticky-Rice chips, on bananas.

In that case, my main problem with Dang sticky-rice sriracha chips is the name. Why would you claim to make sticky-rice chips? It's pretty obvious when a rice chip is not sticky.

Come again? They weren't trying to make rice chips that were sticky? Sticky rice is a specific variety of rice from South and East Asia? I figured they'd have an easier time getting the spices to stay on the chip if the chip was sticky. No, I don't know how you were supposed to eat them if they stuck to your fingers.

Fine. My main problem with Dang sticky-rice sriracha chips is the name. I mean, how can you call them "chips" when they'ren't made of potatos chipped off a larger potato? That's how potato chips work.

Ok, that's a dumb complaint, only added for the Comedy Rule of Threes.

The sticky-rice chips in a bowl.

My main problem with Dang sticky-rice sriracha chips is that they're just not very good. They're not bad, exactly, but the flavor isn't really there. You know the gallon-sized jug of generic Chex mix you buy from the supermarket? Where the powdered flavor was originally on one of the many snack types comprising the mix, but had been dispersed onto the pretzels and rice puffs, making every snack piece have only a hint of unknowable flavor? That's what Dang sticky-rice sriracha chips taste like.

The texture is unplaceable: crunchy but not brittle; dry but not thirst-inducing. Nothing to write home about.

And, worst of all, Dang sticky-rice sriracha chips don't even include a video game. Dang. 4/10